I’ve written a lot of poetry over the last year—over two hundred poems, actually—and looking back through them, I’ve noticed a common thread. Feeling stuck, longing for more… and honestly, it’s getting a little repetitive. So, maybe it’s time to change my narrative.
Every fall, I get the urge to go back to school. It’s become an annual ritual: researching programs, daydreaming about classes, and then deciding it’s not the right time. Either the finances aren’t there, or it doesn’t make sense professionally, or the timing is wrong personally. Yet somehow, amidst the bright orange garbage fire that is currently happening in this country, this year I’ve found those things lining up.
The US is kind of a shit show right now. Let’s call it what it is. After the latest presidential election, I feel at odds with my country in a way I never have before. I’m furious that this country elected a literal rapist for president, and that fury has fueled a lot of self-reflection about what’s next for me, for my family, and for my future. London has always been my favorite city—the history, the culture, the sheer energy of it—and now it feels like the perfect place to pursue more than just a degree. It’s a place where I can pursue adventure, immerse myself in a new way of life, and maybe find some of the answers I’ve been searching for.
I’ve officially decided to go for my Creative Writing and Publishing MA, with plans to follow it up with a PhD in Media and Communications. The publishing degree is a natural extension of my background in marketing, graphic design, and writing. It’s not just about credentials; it’s about the doors it can open. I hope to launch my own literary magazine one day, and this program will give me the skills and credibility to make it successful. The PhD, on the other hand, is about reaching for those highest-level opportunities. Whether it’s landing a head marketing position at a large publishing house, teaching at the university level, or leveraging all those skills for my own writing career, I want to be prepared for whatever path I choose.
This decision hasn’t been made lightly. My husband and I spent a long time talking about what’s best for our family. We’ve always dreamed of moving abroad, and I’ve always wanted to ensure my son, Nikolai, grows up understanding there’s a big, beautiful world out there beyond what’s right in front of him. The logistics won’t be easy. For the two years I’m pursuing my MA, my husband and Nikolai will stay in the US, and I’ll only see them every few months. It’s not ideal, and the thought of going four months at a time without seeing my son is gut-wrenching. But after my husband’s time in the Army, we know how to navigate separation, and come out stronger for it. When I transition to my PhD, they’ll join me in London, and we’ll finally be together again in a place we’ve dreamed of making our home. (Well, one home along the route of my twelve year plan that ends with buying my own cottage in the Cotswolds...)
To say I’m excited would be an understatement. I’m thrilled, nervous, and a little scared all at once. It’s been a little over a decade since I earned my BA, and the thought of attending class again and doing homework feels daunting. But this time, I’m not going to school because I feel like I’m supposed to; I’m going because it’s exactly what I want to do.
There’s a lot to accomplish in the next nine months, and I’ll be sharing intermittent updates along the way. For now, though, I’m letting myself revel in the fact that the wheels are in motion. After years of dreaming, I’m finally taking the leap. This is more than a degree. It’s a new chapter, an entirely new adventure, and I couldn’t be more ready.